You may have noticed an increase in sex drive around ovulation time. But did you know that sex can feel different throughout the rest of your cycle too?
“The menstrual cycle isn't just about managing periods—it's a fascinating rhythm that influences your mood, energy, and even how sex feels at different times of the month,” according to Michelle Herzog, licensed marriage and family therapist and sex therapist.
“At certain times in your cycle, you may feel more sensitive, energized, or relaxed during intimacy. At others, you might feel less interested or need more emotional connection.”
You can thank your hormones for these fluctuations, which can affect elements ranging from your cervix to your lubrication levels and pain tolerance.
Not only can understanding these natural changes help you become more in tune with your body and needs, but it can also improve your sex life. Here’s what you need to know about having sex at different stages of your cycle.
Menstrual Cycle Phases and Sex
During your period (menstruation)
“During your period, you might feel a little less interested in sex due to cramps, fatigue, or discomfort,” says Herzog. “However, some women notice that orgasms can help ease period pain by increasing blood flow and releasing endorphins.”
If you’re into the idea of getting frisky during that time of the month, the increased lubrication can make intimacy feel different – and sometimes even better, notes Herzog. Alternatively, if you’re not in the mood, it may be a time to enjoy cuddles and back rubs.
After your period (follicular phase)
After your period wraps up, your body changes gear. It gets ready for ovulation – and brings up a host of pleasant side effects in the process. Think, extra energy, better mood and increased libido. That’s because estrogen levels rise (and bring with them increased natural lubrication!).
According to Clue, because breasts tend to get fuller and more sore post-ovulation, you may also find that having your breasts touched is most pleasant during your follicular phase.
During ovulation (ovulation)
“The ovulation phase is a high point for many women’s libido,” says Herzog, who adds that your body naturally drives you to be more receptive to intimacy then due to hormonal surges.”Many women report feeling more confident and connected during this phase, and physical sensations may feel more intense.”
There are also cervical changes to keep in mind around ovulation. In fact, some women use cervix position as a cue when tracking their fertility. According to Flo, your cervix is high and becomes soft, more wet and open when you ovulate. This can make deeper-penetration positions more comfortable, so you may enjoy them more during this phase of your cycle.
After ovulation/before your period (luteal phase)
Research shows that women rated pain significantly higher during the menstrual and premenstrual phases of their cycles compared to the follicular and ovulation phases. If consensual pain is part of your preferences in the bedroom, you may want to keep that in mind.
After ovulation, progesterone increases and estrogen dips. “[This can] lead to moodiness, bloating, or a lower libido for some. On the flip side, intimacy during this phase can feel comforting and help reduce stress. For others, this phase might bring cravings for deeper emotional connection during sex,” says Herzog. And yes, if you’re wondering, the luteal phase is associated with PMS.
How to Make the Most of Sex Based on Your Cycle
Armed with the knowledge above, you can make the most of sex based on your cycle. Herzog shared the following tips to help you explore your unique needs and desires during the different phases mentioned above.
1. Track Your Cycle
Use an app or journal to monitor where you are in your cycle. “Knowing when you’re ovulating or in the luteal phase can help you plan for moments when you’re naturally more receptive or may need extra support to feel in the mood,” notes Herzog.
2. Communicate with Your Partner
Knowledge is key, but so is transparent communication. It’s important to share how your body feels at different points of your cycle with your partner(s). If you need more emotional connection or are looking for rougher sex, let your partner know.
3. Lean Into the Highs
In your follicular phase and during ovulation, make the most of your increased energy and libido by exploring new things in bed or deepening intimacy.
4. Practice Self-Care During the Lows
Right before and during your period, take your self-care to the next level and don’t worry if you’re not in the mood for intercourse. “[You can] explore other forms of connection like cuddling, massages, or even lighthearted activities together,” recommends Herzog.
5. Consider Your Physical Needs
While emotional needs matter, there may be very practical physical needs to keep in mind at times. For example, the luteal phase might call for extra lubrication, as things may feel a little dryer down there. Want to have period sex? Don’t let the idea of messiness stop you – grab a waterproof mat to relax into the experience
6. Be Kind to Yourself
Finally, always remember to be kind to yourself. “Your cycle is a natural process, and honoring how you feel at any given time is key to building a satisfying and authentic sex life,” says Herzog.
